Being able to understand the perspective of a different point of view is one of the most important tools in your arsenal in any business relationship, the real question is how does one learn how to do it.
In philosophy, there is a wonderful example of point of view, and I will term it the ill-conceived 'golden rule'. (Note I am not trying to be anti-religious, or anti any particular religion in these comments, just purely showing a differing point of view).
The 'Golden Rule' exists in various forms in a number of religions. When I was taught the golden rule, it was something like 'do unto others as you would have others do unto you'. It is really quite a great concept, until you think of it from an other's point of view, and then it would clearly become something like 'do unto others as an other would have others do unto them'. Bit of a tongue twister, however I will try to explain with an example, perhaps a rather extreme example ...
If you were blind, then while inside your own house, you would probably rarely turn on the lights and waste electricity, cause you cannot see or use the lights anyway. However, if you had a friend come around to your house at night (that was not blind), you would turn on the lights (even though you would not necessarily expect them to turn on the lights for you, if you went to their house at night).
Or maybe a better example..... If your child loved toy cars and disliked toy dolls, you would not purposely give your child a toy doll even if you personally really liked toy dolls would you?
So basically, the golden rule that I was taught, although great in concept, sort of missed the whole perspective of an other's point of view. (Although the golden rule gets most of the point across, and a lot easier to understand as a child, than the tongue twister above.)
Great, thanks for the golden rule point of view, but how is this relevant to business relationships?
Well, if you want to sell anything, a concept, a product, or even yourself, you need to always consider the other person's point of view, or you will never really sell it.
Lets say, that you create a really good presentation, that has all the latest trends, a really good business case, with great rate of return, however the only thing that the potential investor is interested in getting out of the first meeting is whether you can tell him how this business differentiates its product in the marketplace.
Another time, similar meeting and you now have the differentiation arguments, however this time, they may want to see if they simply trust your judgement, and whether they believe you... So how do you start to learn what they want? Try asking them for their point of view....
When I first started selling, I used to jump straight into how good the product was, how it was differentiated in the market, and how it would be great for the person I was talking to... I used to do ok in these meetings, because, I used to talk about enough things that I would eventually get a hit.
Then one day, I was lucky enough to go out with a really good salesperson, who understood the power of understanding someone else's point of view, and he started the meeting, with simply asking what the client would like to get out of this meeting. It was staggeringly obvious, however amazing how often we all forget this simple 'trick' when we are under pressure or have little preparation time, and don't think enough. So here are a few simple tricks that I have picked up along the way.
- You want to be a better leader: Change your point of view, or in other words, what would you want from you, if you were being lead by You.
- You want to be a better salesperson: Try listening more, or change your point of view by attempting to better understand your client's point of view before you sell to them.
- You write a letter or document: When you proof read it, try thinking about the last time that person read it, what did they look for in the document, or what would that person want to see in the document.
- You dress or act in a particular way: What would you think of someone that dressed or acted like you in that situation.
Now at this point, you are potentially thinking that if you do this all the time, then you will just become a so called 'Yes person' that never has a individual thought, and will agree with whatever the most powerful person in the room believes is true. Or worse, that you will worry so much about what other people think that you will become so unsure of yourself, that you will become extremely introverted to a point that you may decide that you should never leave the house.
Well hopefully you did not jump to that conclusion, however if you did, I would argue that I never said that you had to agree with the other person's point of view, however you should certainly try to understand it.
Changing your point of view, so that you can understand someone else's point of view, most certainly does not equate to changing your mind or your opinion. So for example, although I will always struggle to understand or agree with the horrible atrocities that human beings can do to each other in times of war, I would always like to say that I try to understand the point of view. If you simply cannot take the time to consider an other's point of view in every situation, then you are missing most of what is going on around you in just about every situation.
In the US in the late 90s, a wonderful little statement came out that really typified the power of being able to change or alter your perspective or be able to potentially change your point of view in any situation. Basically, if Johnny was good at being able to understand an other's point of view, you would simply say, 'Johnny just gets it'. It was about the best compliment you could get at the time, and it would be great, if the 'just gets it' phrase were to come back into fashion. Good luck, hopefully someone will tell both you and me in the future, that we 'just get it'.
In philosophy, there is a wonderful example of point of view, and I will term it the ill-conceived 'golden rule'. (Note I am not trying to be anti-religious, or anti any particular religion in these comments, just purely showing a differing point of view).
The 'Golden Rule' exists in various forms in a number of religions. When I was taught the golden rule, it was something like 'do unto others as you would have others do unto you'. It is really quite a great concept, until you think of it from an other's point of view, and then it would clearly become something like 'do unto others as an other would have others do unto them'. Bit of a tongue twister, however I will try to explain with an example, perhaps a rather extreme example ...
If you were blind, then while inside your own house, you would probably rarely turn on the lights and waste electricity, cause you cannot see or use the lights anyway. However, if you had a friend come around to your house at night (that was not blind), you would turn on the lights (even though you would not necessarily expect them to turn on the lights for you, if you went to their house at night).
Or maybe a better example..... If your child loved toy cars and disliked toy dolls, you would not purposely give your child a toy doll even if you personally really liked toy dolls would you?
So basically, the golden rule that I was taught, although great in concept, sort of missed the whole perspective of an other's point of view. (Although the golden rule gets most of the point across, and a lot easier to understand as a child, than the tongue twister above.)
Great, thanks for the golden rule point of view, but how is this relevant to business relationships?
Well, if you want to sell anything, a concept, a product, or even yourself, you need to always consider the other person's point of view, or you will never really sell it.
Lets say, that you create a really good presentation, that has all the latest trends, a really good business case, with great rate of return, however the only thing that the potential investor is interested in getting out of the first meeting is whether you can tell him how this business differentiates its product in the marketplace.
Another time, similar meeting and you now have the differentiation arguments, however this time, they may want to see if they simply trust your judgement, and whether they believe you... So how do you start to learn what they want? Try asking them for their point of view....
When I first started selling, I used to jump straight into how good the product was, how it was differentiated in the market, and how it would be great for the person I was talking to... I used to do ok in these meetings, because, I used to talk about enough things that I would eventually get a hit.
Then one day, I was lucky enough to go out with a really good salesperson, who understood the power of understanding someone else's point of view, and he started the meeting, with simply asking what the client would like to get out of this meeting. It was staggeringly obvious, however amazing how often we all forget this simple 'trick' when we are under pressure or have little preparation time, and don't think enough. So here are a few simple tricks that I have picked up along the way.
- You want to be a better leader: Change your point of view, or in other words, what would you want from you, if you were being lead by You.
- You want to be a better salesperson: Try listening more, or change your point of view by attempting to better understand your client's point of view before you sell to them.
- You write a letter or document: When you proof read it, try thinking about the last time that person read it, what did they look for in the document, or what would that person want to see in the document.
- You dress or act in a particular way: What would you think of someone that dressed or acted like you in that situation.
Now at this point, you are potentially thinking that if you do this all the time, then you will just become a so called 'Yes person' that never has a individual thought, and will agree with whatever the most powerful person in the room believes is true. Or worse, that you will worry so much about what other people think that you will become so unsure of yourself, that you will become extremely introverted to a point that you may decide that you should never leave the house.
Well hopefully you did not jump to that conclusion, however if you did, I would argue that I never said that you had to agree with the other person's point of view, however you should certainly try to understand it.
Changing your point of view, so that you can understand someone else's point of view, most certainly does not equate to changing your mind or your opinion. So for example, although I will always struggle to understand or agree with the horrible atrocities that human beings can do to each other in times of war, I would always like to say that I try to understand the point of view. If you simply cannot take the time to consider an other's point of view in every situation, then you are missing most of what is going on around you in just about every situation.
In the US in the late 90s, a wonderful little statement came out that really typified the power of being able to change or alter your perspective or be able to potentially change your point of view in any situation. Basically, if Johnny was good at being able to understand an other's point of view, you would simply say, 'Johnny just gets it'. It was about the best compliment you could get at the time, and it would be great, if the 'just gets it' phrase were to come back into fashion. Good luck, hopefully someone will tell both you and me in the future, that we 'just get it'.
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